Judgmental Friends.

We are all capable for awful things.

Most of us do awful thing, sometimes.

More often, slightly less than awful things.

But, none of us are perfect.

Also, just because we do bad things, doesn’t necessarily make us a bad person.

As a friend, you call your friends out on the bad things they do.

Why?

Because, isn’t it in your friends best interest that they know what they did was wrong, so they may avoid repeating it.

As a friend, you warn them of their tendencies.

Why?

Because, isn’t it in your friends best interest that they know what they’re capable of, so they may avoid doing it?

Once that’s done, you’re still their friend.

You still love them.

You recognize what they did was wrong,

But you don’t think they’re a bad person.

One mistake doesn’t define a person.

Friendship is not about ignoring the wrong things your friends do.

It certainly is not about condoning the bad things.

It’s not even “knowing but not minding”.

You should mind! You have a moral compass.

But, you mustn’t let it affect the relationship.

And if your friend doesn’t see where you’re coming from when you call him out on his past and his tendencies…. If he feels judged... then...

He doesn’t understand your friendship

Then…

Be patient. He’ll get there. Maybe.

Adding a Must Watch to the List

I add another two movies to my must watch list, for hopeless romantics.

Following my post entitled: 

My heart falls to Lana Del Ray's Video Games.

Some movies just stay with you. They touch you and leave you with a broken heart, or in love, or inspired to be better... such are the best types of movies for me. My cheesy but awesome movies.:

One Day...
The Holiday...
P.S. I love you...
Bridges of Madison County...

Legends of the Fall...

Before Sunrise...

Sucker for romance. Yes. Thank you.

Talent

When I was younger, say 10 years ago, I thought being an actor was not a real job. Sure actors got paid, but it was not a real job. 

Why? I didn’t believe in talent in acting. I thought it was all just bogus.

I would sometimes stumble upon a clip or scene of an actor being interviewed about his movie. He would say that the movie really required a lot of emotion from him and that was difficult. I would think, sometimes aloud, “bullshit”.

Like I said, acting was not a real job.

That was 10 years ago.

I guess I was comparing it to the host of other occupations I knew of which required long hours of hard work, a lot of education, often actual physical labour and talent. I know acting required all that, but it just didn’t compare. I really didn’t see how talent played in.

Now, I know acting, being an actor is talent.

What caused this grand realization on my part? 

Well, my measure for comparison has changed. I now compare acting to reality shows. 

Actors all around, not everyone has your talent. Not everyone makes good movies. Not everyone makes good TV. Thank you actors, for saving me from the growing host of reality shows. Depressing really.

I apologize for my narrow mindedness.

Thank you actors.

(All references to actors and acting apply to actress as well. Love to male and female actors)

Doodle Style Bookmarks

These bookmarks are inspirational and creative. They're hand drawn and coloured with Sharpies.

AVAILABLE

RM 12 each

When your insecurities of the past are the cause of your insecurities of today.

She doesn’t answer the phone when you call. 

You think she is ignoring your call on purpose. 

That, she saw the phone ring, saw your name appear, and CHOSE to not answer. 

You feel insecure. 

So… you call 10 times. 

Finally she responds, she was probably in the shower, in class or had the phone on silent. 

But you’re completely rattled when she finally gets back to you. 

You lash out, well, you are rattled, understandable… but she was just in the shower bro.

You text her, and she doesn’t reply. 

You think its cause she is ignoring you, if true, well, that is cause to be insecure. 

Like hell Boy! She be ignoring you bro! 

So… You flood her phone with angry texts, informing her that you need to talk to her, asking her to respond, accusing her of …well, God knows what. 

But you know it always comes down to accusations.

You use the information she shared with you as a friend against her. 

You use her secrets against her. 

Some show of love that is. 

Then you wonder why she chooses what she should share with you or now.

You get jealous of her friends. 

Now, massive bummer, she has loads of guy friends. 

Yeah bro, I see why you’re jealous. 

Surely you’re insecure. 

You voice your concern, she explains, we’re just friends. 

You say ok, but… it is far from ok. 

You call when she’s out. 

You make a fuss when she goes out. 

You tell yourself you’re not controlling her, but you give her so much shit when she meets with her friends. 

But boys will be jealous yeah, and she should understand that, and stop hanging out with her friends, and only see you, and have her whole world revolve around you… yeah bro… I understand…. Not.

Few months into the relationship, 

you’re talking to your girl and suddenly realize she doesn’t share much with you. 

You accuse her of hiding things. 

You feel insecure.

Well yeah, you’re her boyfriend, why doesn’t she share things with you. 

Why is she hiding things from you. 

Ask her why? 

She’ll say she’s walking on a mine field. 

One wrong piece of information, innocent as it may be, you’ll explode. 

And you wonder why she doesn’t share.

It then comes to a stage where

You should feel insecure.

BUT

You realize now that your insecurities are the very thing causing you to feel insecure.

When your insecurities of the past are the cause of your insecurities of today.

Friends

In friendship

Things that do not matter:

How long you’ve known the person.

What does matter:

How you do NOT have to explain what you mean. You say it once and he gets it, without picking on your choice of words.

 

Thanks Jorge, always joyful spending time with you.

Saving a sinking ship. Save the ship or its passengers?

Sometimes we cross certain lines with people.

Sometimes the line isn't so much the problem as the person you’re crossing it with.

Sometimes the crossing of the line with anyone is a problem. Period.

Sometimes its crossing a line that should not be crossed with a person you should cross no lines whatsoever with.

So draw these lines, and don’t cross them.

But what if you do, and with the wrong person.

Where do you go from there.

What if the world finds out? And judges you? Your nearest and dearest?

Sometimes you’re lucky. No one finds out.

But that doesn't change the fact that YOU know it happened?

How do you shut your mind from it?

Sometimes you tell yourself that all you need is recognition, that your partner in crime sees things the way you do. Feels the same way you do. Feels as strongly as you do. Wants it the same way you do.

But what if you don't get that recognition? What if that person just denies everything. Not feeling the same way you do? Not wanting the same thing you do?

I guess you just have to deal.

Sometimes he/she denies that you ever crossed the line. Pretending nothing of significance took place. That he/she doesn't even recall any of it?

How?

You know it happened. You believe it did. Were you wrong?

Probably wrong in choosing to cross the line, with that individual.

But that doesn't give us a solution- What to do?

Confront the person and risk him/her denying everything, and feel silly for having confronted him/her.

Or

Just let it boil up in you. Replay the scenes. Hope for things to work out?

I wish I could tell you to just get over it. Put it behind you.

But, this mind, this heart. Silly things. Doesn't listen to reason. 

Doesn't forget things.

So….

We drown, and drown, and drown…

Until, we let go.

Love.

Goodness in all

Sometimes I think, my Better Half is the only good part of me.

Love.

Oh Silly Me

I said to myself, "lets blog about God."

Then I laughed at myself and thought "I write about God? Nothing I can write will do Him justice."

Love.

Bless me with the dust of the feet of those devoted to you.
Bless me with love for you.
Bless me such that I remember you.

All in due time, and all in time

The past one week has been quite the uphill climb for me.

Lets’ just say, too many lessons learnt in too short a time. 

God grace, God’s grace. 

I’m most thankful that I’ve been graced with the thought of him through trying times. 

And that the lessons came just in time. 

Now may He pacify all the collateral damage. 

My better half

I don’t think I’ve written about my better half.

Our history is not important for today. The eraser throwing and the drama in between. What matters is how amazing he is.

We’ve been together a long time. We spend time with one another, we try. Sometimes it’s difficult. Sometimes we forget what are supposed to be to one another. Sometimes we just function around one another. But, love filled, always. Friends, always. 

But, once in a while the most amazing thing that happens.  The most amazing thing that happens between us, for me, maybe for him as well, are those moments where we feel like we just fell in love all over again.

He says something, or does something, or he makes a simple but honest and loving gesture, something so simple yet special, that makes my heart swell with love… really swell, that it cannot be contained, that the love must be shown, often in a big huggy wuggy squeezing the living daylights out of him…

And to think that he and I still share such moments 6 years into our relationship. To know that he still falls in love with me after being in love with me for the last 11 years.

He really is my better half.

You know you’re blessed when you have so many amazing people in your life. 

I’m blessed with so many.

Oxymoron

Recently, I received one of the most powerful compliments ever of my life.

From someone I would have though incapable of such depth. Even if capable of such depth, then would be clouded by his enormous ego to actually say what he did to me. Amazing nonetheless.

Most compliments carry with them room for growth, progress, but not this one. This compliment says, nay, screams “stop what you’re doing.” You’ve damaged yourself, stop before you damage someone else. Yes, damage and scar. Denoting permanency.

Now, I need to pay myself a compliment and stop self-destructing.

Love yourself Amreeta.

Love, love, love.

Amreeta, love Amreeta.

As I put this post up, I know I have damaged another.

Of Needs, Wants and being Itchy

It’s not like I need it.

I don’t necessarily want it either.

I’m just what we say in Malaysia “itchy”.

Stop itching.

Maybe bored.

Maybe it’s a compulsion? A disease? Yeah, that would be an easy escape…. Pfftttttt.

Curdled Milk

It is not split personality

Maybe it is

No no, it isn’t

But it sure seems like a valid accusation

No, no, it is something deeper

maybe it is something too deep to understand

nah, he is probably just good ol’ shallow.

The style

I usually type my post out in a Word document to do my best to avoid silly spelling and grammatical mistakes. Plus there is a safe button, and I can review what I wrote later to better it. Also, I can write despite not having internet. Then when I can, I put my posts up. Smile. Love

Love, Hurt and God.

There are a lot of things that we cannot define.

Love, Hurt, God.

Love is not that feeling of excitement. That's excitement.

It is the happiness, the subtle happiness, ever present, even when the excitement isn't there.

Subtle maybe, but there, and strong. Just not in your face.

Love is when you want the other person to reach his true potential, in what he loves doing, and not just what he can do, or should be doing. 

Love is that feeling that remains after all the early excitement and need for constant communication wears off.

Love is feeling safe.

It’s not easy to love.

But we must all try our best.

Hurt is that sensation of emptiness, right in the middle of your chest.

Not at the heart muscle, that's probably a heart attack... but in the middle of your chest, like a hole.

Hurt is when you know you need to hold yourself so tight so that your insides don't shatter.

Hurt is something we all have to deal with personally. Others may support us, help make us comfortable, but they can't deal with it for us. We must deal with it on our own.

God is,  

God, oh GOD.

God is the presence you feel

God is the voice in your head that says don’t proceed when danger is ahead

God is the regret you feel

God is hand over your mouth when your stop yourself from saying something awful

God is..  

God, well, GOD is everything.

My heart falls to Lana Del Ray's Video Games.

Some movies just stay with you. They touch you and leave you with a broken heart, or in love, or inspired to be better... such are the best types of movies for me. My cheesy but awesome movies.:

One Day...
The Holiday...
P.S. I love you...
Bridges of Madison County...


Sucker for romance. Yes. Thank you.

Everything, and yet nothing.

I need to write. But I suddenly feel like I do not know what to write about. I’ve decided to write a little about whatever comes to mind. 

The Impressive Interview

A friend of mine went for an interview yesterday. I called him today to check in and on how it went. He told me how he impressed them, and the truth be told, he impressed me as well. As much of a simpleton he can be with me, which is what I love about hanging out with him, easy breezy shorts wearing, he really is kick ass at his job. If it was possible to be swept off your feet by hearing about an interview, I think I’m floating in the skies.

CM

Tomorrow I go see a judge for a CM, alone, for the first time. Jolly ho!

H

I keep on fighting with him. He can be so much more than he is.  That is all I want of him, for him, regardless of whether he is with me or not. If only he could see it.

Emily Thorne’s Wardrobe

The character Emily Thorne in the series Revenge has the best oufits. She is never improperly dressed. She is ALWAYS elegant!

Marks and Spencer’s Bras

Marks and Spencer have an awesome collection of bras and panties. Let’s talk bras. They have a great selection of sizes, patterns, colours and styles. The best thing is that the fit and support is awesome. The prices are decent as well! I’m looking forward to going shopping there again!

  

the indifferent saga

I was so glad when I got to indifferent. And then he got there as well. Hmmmmm. I'm taking guesses on how I feel. Smiles

The grass may be green here, but it looks greener on the other side.

Most of a lawyers work is drafting, not "the law".

In my first few weeks in the Firm, I did so much research that my friends coined a nickname for me- Lexreeta.... because I needed access to LEXISNEXIS so much, so often. In fact someone in the firm said I SUFFER from being able to find things, in the context of research, making me a go to person for research.

I remember days where I had to sit and research through lunch because a submission had to be sent in by 3p.m. And well, finding what the boss needed. I enjoyed it. I was hungry, but I enjoyed it.

However, for the past three or four weeks, I've been doing loads of drafting. And very little research. Yes, I've done some research, found some new things.... but nothing too exciting or recent. But I've been happy, doing the drafting.

Today, a person, who shall not be named, asked me to look into a point of law. And while I already knew the law in issue, I still decided to look it up to see if there had been any recent developments. While I was living up to my Lexreeta status, I was struck with a sudden yet enlightening realisation.

I realised how much I enjoyed research and looking at the law proper. And then it hit me, "maybe academia is your thing".

I decided that I needed to read in chambers to see whether I would like it. As of now, I do, I really like what I am doing, and I like what I could do a few years into practice, and I like even more what I could be doing once I become a litigator proper. But, I might like to teach even better. I say this now not because teaching has been my first dream, but because of the realisation that hit me today.

I am happy doing what I do in the litigation department. But I may be HAPPIER teaching.

But for now, I'm just glad that I'm happy.

Very few are blessed with happiness, praise to Waheguru that I’m blessed as such.