Monday, 1 April 2013

Hammers and Hearts




Have you ever been a situation when all you want to do is run over to someone, and just cuddle their worries away?

Tell them that such is the way of the heart.

Tell them it is ok. There will be someone else.

Someone better. Someone better than you.



And then they won’t talk to you.

Won’t let you help them…

Cause to them, you’re the cause of all the pain.

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Worker-bee!





I recently started working.
I have good days.
I have bad days.
I have inspirational days.
I have blaaaa days.
I have busy days.
I have boring days.
But I've not had a day where I say "I dont want to go to work today."

Let us hope it lasts.

Friday, 1 February 2013

The Pains of Painting





Painting is soothing!

It’s a special feeling seeing colour flow on the canvas.

But painting is also painful.

Painting is painful because it is stressful.

Painting is stressful because it requires thought, focus and attention.

Getting it right, making it look the way you see in in your mind, is difficult.

Sometimes you’re not sure how to get a certain colour. How much blue, how much yellow, should I add more yellow, or should I add some white?

Sometimes you can’t seem to get the colours to blend seamlessly on the canvas. No one wants to be able to tell where one colour starts and where the other ends when painting a sky.

Sometimes you just don’t have the technique down. Yes, there is technique. I’m struggling with drawing waves and the see through effect for where water meets sand.

Sometimes, something, somewhere just doesn’t seem right. Sometimes you just don’t know how to fix it. Sometimes you just don’t know what it is. Oh sometimes, sometimes, sometimes.

Sometimes you start painting with no vision. You think the brush will lead the way. It doesn't.

Sometimes you think you have a vision only to realise you’ve been obsessing over someone else’s painting, and have stolen their style.

Sometimes you use a double ended brush. You dip both sides in dark blue paint. You forget. While zealously painting the canvas the other end of the brush, still soiled with blue paint brushes across your face, and glasses. You’ve successfully painted your face and glasses as well.

Sometimes you run out of paint.

Sometimes you feel like the entire painting is a disaster.

Then you sleep on it.

For a few days.

Then a few more days.

Then you see it in a whole new light.

Then you complete it. (Well we could say fix it, but I rather think it was a disaster because it was unfinished and not a plain ol’ disaster.)

Sometimes it’s a masterpiece.

But whichever time it is for me, painting always soothes.

Painting always distracts.

Painting requires thought, focus and attention…. Inspiration, most times.

The pains of painting force you to cast away the other pains in life.

This, to me, is the joy of painting.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Getting to Indifferent



Can you tell me how to get to Indifferent?

Sometimes you have a nagging need to call someone. Rush to see them. Hangout.

It is all good, unless you shouldn’t feel that way for that said person.

Then it sucks big time.

BIG TIME!

So, you wait. And wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Until the day you don’t care anymore.

The day you feel indifferent.

It is the best place to be. The best stage to be at. The best non-feeling about that person.

Better than caring, cause caring when you shouldn't is ouch-full.

Better than loving, cause loving when you shouldn't is painful.

Better than hating, cause hating is plain stressful. Hating is an always-shouldn't.

Best to be indifferent in this situation.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

No, Not Love.






If you can't call me, 
or text me, 
or reply my texts, 
then you sure as hell 
do not 
get to appear
A.N.Y.W.H.E.R.E
and 
cause me 
to think of 
you. 

(Totally reacting. Not over reacting.) 


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 



I
recently was a real girl.
I
totally overreacted.
I 
totally turned him away.
I
am totally up tight.
I
totally hate the nagging need I feel to win you.
I
know I started off right.
I
know I screwed it up midway.
This
is a bloody challenge to me.
You
are a bloody challenge to me.
This
is bloody challenging.
I
don't like losing a challenge.
.
.
.
.
.
Not this kind.
If I lose, you win.
Oh, when did this become so complicated.


Friday, 4 January 2013

50 Shades of Grey




What is 50 Shades of Grey?

Its Jane Eyre and Twilight. In a blender.

The Big Leagues

 



"I'm not in your league."

Someone recently said the above to me.

Now, I’ve heard/read this phrase before. But today, I thought about it. For the first time, ever.

I understand the textual meaning of this phrase. How it is used in conversations. The Slang of it.

Therefore the first thing I wondered about was who was in the upper league, Me or The Other Party (TOP).

Quickly, a second question arose:
What the hell kind of game are we playing? What league are we talking about.


What game are we playing?
Game of life?
The Shakespeare style poor player who struts and frets his hour upon stage?
A social standing game?
A lifestyle choice game?
A money game?
A moral game?


How many leagues are there? How does one join the league?


To me, there is only one game, the game of life, and no leagues. We all play. We begin equal. And our character takes us higher. Since it is our character that defines us, we can all rise in this game. So make it happen.